The Door on the Right
This is the story behind the painting called 'Moonstar Cove'. Where is it, you might wonder....
Well, it's through the door on the right of course!
Have you ever imagined what the inside of your mind might look like? Quite possibly not. My thoughts about this began when I was a child. I used to love reading comic books and one comic strip in particular had me hooked. It was about the inside of a man's head and the little people who 'ran the show,' so to speak. The head was shown from side view and you could see the different rooms inside and which part of the thought processes and bodily functions they controlled. Everything was operated by the little people and most things started by putting ideas into the 'suggestion box'. I was completely captivated by this idea at the time, often thinking about it again over the years.
It wasn't until much later on that this idea would really help me out. Being someone who has terrible difficulty sleeping at night, I thought about what the inside of my own mind might look like. Unlike the comic strip, there would be no little people controlling everything, it was all down to me. It was my private inner space where I could find order and peace and make sense of the chaos around me and within me. The chaos that stopped me from sleeping. So it began.....
I imagined in the minutest detail every inch of this inner world. I even had my own 'suggestion box' right in the middle of the main room, which took the form of a computer. I could go on and on about the details of this space but that will have to wait until another time. What I want to talk about here is how Moonstar Cove came about.
To the right hand side of the main room in my mind, there is a door. This is where I go to when I can't sleep. I open the door and as I go through I suddenly feel very calm and safe. I wonder down a narrow path with small hedges on either side. The path then opens up into a little cove with the lake to the right. It's always night time and there is a full moon in the sky. To the left, a small wooden hut with an opening on one side. No need to feel afraid because here there is no fear, it cannot exist. Nobody will hurt me in the tiny hut, even if there is no door.
The scene is often viewed from the higher bank on the left of the cove as in the painting. It's as though one version of me is watching another.
I have two lovely animal friends who greet me when I arrive. There is Moon, the alpaca and Star the black and white cat. That's why it's called Moonstar Cove, after them.
Depending on my mood, I will either go and have a lie-down in the hut, go for a moonlit walk, or, I will go out in the small boat which rests by the water's edge.
If I decide to have a lie-down, Moon will let me lie on his fluffy coat and Star will sleep by my side. They won't bother me, they will just be there. If a storm comes, which sometimes it does, well, it's o.k because even if there is no glass on the windows, the wind and rain cannot enter the hut. We are warm and dry inside.
If on the other hand, I decide to go for a walk, Moon will let me ride on his back and Star will trot along beside us. We always walk up the bamboo pathway which winds up a slight incline to the left of the hut. The temperature will be perfect, not too hot or cold. There is a warm soft wind blowing and we can hear the sweet calming sound as it moves through the delicate leaves of the bamboo plants. We don't talk because there's no need.
Some nights I think it will be better to go out on the boat. Moon stays behind in the hut but Star always accompanies me. We don't go very far and we don't have to row. The boat will go where I tell it to. Sometimes we both lie down and go to sleep. Sometimes we just look up at the moon.
Other times I decide to dive into the water. It's warm under there and perfectly clear, I can see the moon in the sky above. Somehow I'm able to breath under the water as I twist and turn, the weightlessness of my physical body bringing me pure bliss. I am free! All my worries flow out of me and dissolve into tiny specs of light which rise up to the surface. I let go of all fear.
On the odd occassion when I go to the cove something extra special happens. This is usually when I'm feeling particularly sad or afraid. My beloved cat Ralph who passed to the other side, comes out of a magical portal sorrounded by white light which is situated to the right of the hut in a rose-coloured wooded area. He runs to greet me. I take him in my arms and hold him once more.
He is still alive in Moonstar Cove!
What joy and comfort this brings me!
So, you see, this is how I help myself to sleep at night. I created Moonstar Cove in my mind and then decided to paint a picture of it. This imaginary place is the best of everything, the perfect refuge where the arms of safety and protection are wrapped around me. It is pure love. It is of course the best of me, and to find it, all I have to do is walk through the door on the right......
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